Pancho here. In lieu of your weekly "My Dog Ate My Homework, My Couch, and Half My Closet" support group, may I offer some perspective?
First of all, you should know that this behavior is very normal. I’ve never met a dog who hasn’t destroyed at least one precious item. It’s like a rite of passage for us. You know, like how you humans cut your own bangs when you’re little. I can’t speak for your hair-cutting motivations, but I can let you in on some of the possible reasons why your dog is chewing on your stuff.
My guess is that one of these reasons resonated with you. Trust me, your dog is not trying to make you mad or do something bad out of spite. (Just like you weren’t trying to ruin your family pictures when you went after your hair with your mom’s craft scissors.) We’re dogs. We love humans more than the sweet smell of bacon frying. There’s usually a simple solution within reach and someday the Tale of the Chewed Up Mattress will not only be a distant memory, but a story that will totally kill at dinner parties. You’re welcome.
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