There's no doubt about it—this election season has been pretty nutty. We’ve overheard several pup-loving humans tell their friends, “I don’t know…I wish I could just vote for my dog!” Not a bad idea, right? We imagined what a few Insta-famous canines' platforms would be. While you can’t vote for them this Tuesday, just remember what they stand for come 2020.
“There is a clear and present danger facing our nation’s security: squirrels. If elected, I promise to bark at every squirrel I see—whether it’s in a tree, behind a fence, or in my imagination."
“Americans used to be best at doing tricks. But now? We’ve got Portuguese Water Dogs shaking paws with the president and German Shepherds being called New York’s Finest. We need better education, and we need it now."
“My platform is simple. Save the environment by having no energy. Can’t do much harm if you’re busy napping, can you?”
“As Thomas Jefferson said, ‘We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Dogs are created equal and are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Cuddles, Kongs, and the Pursuit of Pizza.”
“Going to the vet should be optional. I mean, c'mon, they're sending us to people that find problems. They're giving drugs. They're clipping nails. They’re scary. Though some, I assume, are good people.”
“Whether you’re a trickle down treat giver or a direct-to-bowl believer, as long as we get our food eventually, there’s no reason we can’t all get along.”
“Studies show that there’s a minimum we need to live a happy and healthy life. So, if elected, I promise to fight for 15 minute walks or more.”
“As the famous saying goes, ‘Give me your French Fries, your London Broil, your Philly Cheesesteaks yearning to be eaten…’ Diversity makes for more flavor, and we welcome it all!”