Things Only Frenchie Parents Understand

Imagine combining the curmudgeon-y grimace of your grandpa with the adorable stoutness of your 18-month-old niece in dog form and you have yourself the Frenchie. Otherwise known as the French Bulldog, this petite dog with an oversized personality demands attention wherever it goes. You know, because OMG! THE CUTENESS! But there’s more to this breed than looks. To live with a Frenchie is to understand a few of these particular little joys:

They feel at home…in a palace.

A post shared by Sumo, Ayumi, Tonka, & Mochi (@3bulldogges) on Mar 10, 2017 at 2:42pm PST

A favorite among Europe’s royalty, the Frenchie has enjoyed the finer things in life for generations. It’s practically in his genetic makeup to prefer napping on your cashmere throw.

They play favorites and aren’t sorry about it.

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Like Selena says, the heart wants what it wants—and the heart of the Frenchie wants one person: you. They’re not mean to your significant other, your children, or any of your BFFs, just a little aloof.

They’re going to pass on that ball game.

A post shared by Trotter (@trotterpup) on Apr 5, 2013 at 9:06am PDT

Sports aren’t their thing. (Though they do look amazing in a sweatband.) Short, brisk walk are fine, but there will be no jogging, no running, and whatever you do, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TOSS A FRISBEE. Just stick to playful wrestling, belly rubbing and cuddling, please. Mmmkay?

They look like they’re walking around in stilettos.

A post shared by René-Charles (@renecharlesnyc) on May 23, 2016 at 1:36pm PDT

That tank-like torso paired with comparatively thin legs give the Frenchie a gait not unlike the toddler who got into mommy’s shoe closet.

They don’t need a microphone.

A post shared by Sir Watson CC Claiborne (@watson_thefrenchie) on Sep 5, 2016 at 7:29am PDT

What’s more annoying than a yippy, barky dog? Nothing, according to Frenchies, who rarely if ever raise their voice. (Making them a favorite among apartment dwellers and especially their neighbors.)

But they aren’t so quiet in their sleep.

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What they lack in barks, they make up for in snores. The Frenchie can saw logs like he’s mass-producing lakeside cabins. He trusts you’ll find this adorable. Or that you’ll invest in some ear plugs.

They woke up that way.

Sunday mornin is lit🍾

A post shared by The Balou Blue, Therapy Dog (@baloublue) on Jul 24, 2016 at 6:00am PDT

Only Beyoncé knows such natural beauty. The Frenchie’s short, shiny coat is extremely easy to keep clean. No brushing required, and baths are an infrequent need. They’re more likely to smell from their own gas!

They get bored in the classroom.

A post shared by Stitch (@stitchbully) on Jan 12, 2017 at 1:05pm PST

Be more Dewey Finn from School of Rock than Econ Teacher from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and they’ll be a valedictorian-level student. Enroll them in a boring puppy preschool where they must compete for a gold star and be prepared for an eye roll with a stain on the carpet.

They’re more sensitive to temperature than Goldilocks.

A post shared by French Bulldog (@frenchie.world) on Mar 14, 2017 at 7:19am PDT

Take them outside in August or January and your Frenchie will hold a grudge for days. They enjoy a nice, temperature-controlled environment and, occasionally, the month of September.

They don’t need any “me time.”

A post shared by нαмму тнє ƒяєη¢нιє (@heyhamlet) on Mar 8, 2017 at 8:30am PST

Remember the way your childhood cat seemed to want minimal human contact? Your Frenchie is the polar extreme, apparently balancing the Universe on this continuum. You may call it Separation Anxiety; they prefer to call it Can’t You Just Work From Home Again Today?